Choosing an Agency

Jonathan and I have spent the past several weeks learning. We've done online research, attended seminars at adoption agencies, met one-on-one with service coordinators, then thought up MORE questions and exchanged emails to clarify and ask some more.

I know some of you who will follow along with our journey will be asking questions, too. So I'll make sure to take the time to explain what we're learning as we go. We've been learning what we value in the adoption professionals we will choose to work with. What kinds of questions have we been asking?

• What does this agency value and what are its strengths?

• What is the total cost of an adoption?

• What kind of support does this agency offer expectant mothers both before and after placement?

• Are they treated with dignity and respect?

• How many adoptions did this agency complete last year?

• What the heck is a home study, and what's that going to look like?

• What is the average wait time for prospective adoptive families?

• How many adoptive families are "live" through this agency at any one time?

• Are there educational opportunities for adoptive families to prepare?

• How does this agency help adoptive families navigate decisions about openness, race, substance abuse?

For much of our experience, we will not be able to give our families a good feel for what to expect, because every adoption is different. Just because another family we know had to wait this long or their experience with the birth family looked like that doesn't guarantee anything for us. The only thing we can control is our choice of agency so they might guide us toward what's next. It's the only decision at this stage that might begin to sketch a picture of what's to come.

This week, we will officially register as an adoptive family through Adoption Support Center. They care to walk with all parties involve in the adoption triad--the adoptive family, the biological family, and most importantly, the adoptee. They encourage an ongoing relationship between the adoptive family and the biological mother. And they value clear and honest communication and support for us as an adoptive family--adoption is not for the faint of heart, and they want to protect ours as we walk an unsure path.

What's next, you may ask? Paperwork, my dear friends. So much paperwork to come.